" . . . and now, taciturn beekeeper . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
During the pre-show Q&A, a guy mentioned something about Branson. I missed the first half of the show, but from I was able to hear is that many entertainers you thought were dead are doing splendid business in Branson, Missouri. Branson is the Number 1 bus destination in the world . . . . or something like that. Even Yakov Smirnoff has his own theater. Sitting next to the guy who brought up Branson was his wife. I'm not sure but I think she was blinking an SOS. I don't think she wants to go back to Branson.
How much of the above is accurate? It's what I picked up while doing some last second stuff, and from that, it's what I sort of remember.

And now it's time for a Weather Update from WNBC, Channel 4.
We see Sue Simmons introducing the weatherperson, Janice Huff.
SIMMONS: "Janice is here with the weather. Somehow I expected it to be a messier day."
JANICE HUFF: "It was messy enough early in the day, with the wind and the rain, especially. That was the big problem for a lot of spots with downed trees and coastal flooding. But conditions are slowly improving.
SIMMONS: "What the 'GIVL' are you doing?"
Sorry, Sue but that's the weather. There isn't much you can do about that.

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
Bush says something about relatives being present, or hoping to be present, or something about their ancestors not being her but some relatives might be. Obviously, the guy needs a GPS when telling a story.

ACT 2:
The new "Indiana Jones" move opened today. How many in the audience have seen it? No response. I'm glad about that. If you come to New York City on vacation, you shouldn't waste the time seeing a movie. Save it for home. Dave saw it earlier today and he loved it. He has a clip of his watching the film at the local bijou.
We see Dave sitting in a darkened movie theater. He is surrounded by fellow movie-goers. The goofus Dave, vs. the gallant Dave, is on his cell phone giving a play-by-play of what is going on in the Crystal Skull movie.
DAVE: "Now Indy is in a car . . . he's driving . . . uh oh, people are shooting at him! Oh, he got away! Man, this movie is amazing. Look out!"
We cut to see who Dave is talking to. We see Harrison Ford on a cell phone. He tiredly scolds, "I know, Dave, I'm in the movie!"
Back to Dave, who continues: "And now Indy is whipping people. . . ." and we're out. Dave wants to go back to the clip to show his favorite part. We go back to see the continuation: "Now Indy is whipping people . . . I think they're communists! He's whipping communists!"
Dave liked the communists part.

TOP TEN: Things Overheard In Line To See the New Indiana Jones Movie
10. "Indy's so old in this one, his whip needs Cialis."
6. "Is this movie about those four women who go slutting around New York City?"

ACT 3:
I missed this. Here is a skeletal recap.

PIEDMONT BIRD CALLERS: We have the 3 top teams from the 43rd Annual Piedmont High School Bird Calling Competition.

3rd Place: Lillian and James Meagher - a brother and sister team. Imagine the fun around the dinner table.
Their call: American White Pelican
It sounded something like this: Kaw kaw guaka kaw. Kaw kaw kaw kaw guaka guaka kaw kaw. Kaw.

2nd Place: Jackie Gage, Katharine Marley, and Anna Kritikos
Their call: Blackbellied Sand Grouse
It sounded something like this: Kaw kaw guaka kaw. Kaw kaw kaw kaw guaka guaka kaw kaw. Kaw.

1st Place: Eric Wheeler, Derek DeRoche, and Eric Sezgen
Their call: Great Blue Heron
It sounded something like this: Kaw kaw guaka kaw. Kaw kaw kaw kaw guaka guaka kaw kaw. Kaw.

And now, all together:
Kaw kaw guaka kaw. Kaw kaw kaw kaw guaka guaka kaw kaw. Kaw.

ACT 4:
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
She's escorted out by a slew of sailors from the United States Navy and Canadian Navy. Seeing her with the sailors made me think back to May 26, 1995 when Sarah was on our show and then she walked over to adjacent McGee's to share drinks with some sailormen.
Sarah loves the Piedmont Bird Callers and has a bird call she taught herself. It's the Bleeker Street Purple Beaked Zealander. After wetting her whistle, Sarah performs the Bleeker Street Purple Beaked Zealander. Ahhh, it sounded like a cool summer morning.

The "Sex and The City" premiere was last week in London. It was there that Sarah wore the now famous hat. It wasn't quite Carmen Miranda-ish, but it did sport some flowers and reeds and stalks and a butterfly or two. When driven to the premiere, she had to practically sit on the floor to keep her hat from bending from the roof. It was created by Philip Treacy. She wore the hat because in London, people actually do wear hats. Many thought it was over the top, but Sarah was fine with that. Would I wear a hat like that? Only if it matched my socks.
"Sex and The City" - it opens May 30th. We see a clip. YIPES! It's women playing naked tennis! Now we're getting somewhere! Unfortunately, we got our clips mixed up. The tennis clip was for a private, after-show party. We then see the actual "Sex and The City" clip.

ACT 5:
Announce: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave is joined by actress Liv Tyler, sex educator Sue Johanson, and comedian Tommy Johnagin. The Late Show; is addition to making you laugh, we're also your complete floor specialists! We'll be right back."

ACT 7:
THE REPUBLIC TIGERS: Making their network television debut, from their new CD, "Keep Color," The Republic Tigers performed "Buildings and Mountains."

And that was our show for Thursday, May 22, 2008.



I know, this wasn't much of a show recap. It was not one of my better efforts. No, hold it. The effort was just as good as any other show . . . I should have wrote that it was not one of my better results. The effort was there, but not the results. It was an admitted weak Wahoo. And I hate when a Gazette isn't up to standards because, you never know, maybe someone is reading the Wahoo Gazette for the very first time. I would hate for them to think this is a norm.

The Sailors who escorted Sarah Jessica onto the stage were from
-the USS Kearsarge
-Beach Master Unit 2
-Navy Security Detachment, Portland
-Navy Region Mid-Atlantic
-Navy Expeditionary Combat Command
-U.S. Naval Academy
-U.S. Fleet Forces Command
-And the HMCS Preserver of the Canadian Navy.

Very sad sight this morning on my way to work. Gas is relatively cheap in New Jersey . . . . this morning I saw a gas attendant on a ladder . . . . . . he was replacing a 3 with a 4.

One of our interns just graduated from SUNY Cortland, my alma mater. It made me think of my graduation from college and the summer that followed. College was 4 years of incredible fun, followed by a summer of no money and no job. All my friends, many who never went to college, were working and had lots of dough in their pocket. It wasn't a good time for me. And I'll always remember . . . . . the only thing that got me out of bed in the morning . . . the only reason to live . . . . was to watch The David Letterman Show, on in New York at 10:00 AM. It was on from June 1980 to October 1980. It may have saved my life. I then got a job in October. I always wondered it that was related.
Sadly, the only thing this new Cortland grad has to save his life is The Rachael Ray Show.

I know the Yankees are floundering, but you know what? It's really not bothering me all that much. I have the New York Giants in my back pocket. I'm still enjoying their incredible run to the Super Bowl and their upset of the undefeated Patriots. That should hold me over into early November when the Giants are 3-7.

Remember, when you go to sleep Friday night to start your Memorial Day Weekend, when you wake . . . it'll be Labor Day. Yup, the summers go that quick these days.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From the San Francisco Bay area, retiring after 40 years of working in the news department at KTVU2 in Oakland, it's Dennis Richmond. Truthfully, I have no idea if Dennis reads the Wahoo. But now that he's retired, he'll have a lot of time to fill . . . and that's where the Wahoo Gazette is invaluable . . . it can really kill time.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER