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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Top Ten Ways The New York Mets Can Turn Things Around
 Top Ten   
Less horseplay, more grab-ass
Ask Tiger Woods to switch to baseball
Stop leaving games early to beat traffic
Convince superdelegates to put them in the playoffs
Ask President Bush how he was able to turn things around in Iraq
For starters, pay the poor bastards enough to live on
Jetpacks
Before every game, feed other team tainted to-maters
Replace batting practice with frozen head of Ted Williams and dunk tank
Start fixing games like they do in the NBA
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Free agent Willie Mays is just sitting by the phone

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Back to basics like hustling, good defense and a boat load of steroids

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Just enough gamma radiation to make them strong and aggressive without turning them green and crazy

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New incentive for players: get on base and get a $15 gift certificate to Radio Shack

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Lobby Major League Baseball to grant exemption to "Three strikes and you're out" policy

"Late Show" Rewind: Week of November 24 - 28, 2008
Highlights of Nicole, Bruce, Reese, Dave's mom -- plus, a sneezing monkey!
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A Tony Mendez Thanksgiving
Join Tony for a holiday filled with turkey, gravy, more gravy and more!
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Top Ten Signs You're Watching a Bad Thanksgiving Day Parade
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November 28, 2008
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